Saved by the Kanker
by Dalek Prime
Summary: In old fairy tales, it's usually a dashing young hero who saves the damsel in distress from the monster, in Peach Creek however, the roles are reversed for Eds and their girlfriends. Eddy/Lee, Edd/Marie, Ed/May.


A/N: I don't own Ed, Edd and Eddy

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"Get back here dorks!" Kevin's voice echoed throughout the halls of the school "I'm gonna mop the whole school with your faces!"

The trio of friends was currently running for their lives from the jock on the grounds that Eddy put itching powder in his jock-strap as a childish prank, despite Edd's pleas against the act. Now here they where, pushing people out of way while Ed pulled down trash tans, lockers and even chunks of the wall of the school itself behind them in an attempt to slow down the star football player and his path of destruction.

"Now would be a great time to apologize for your actions Eddy!" Double-D asked as he ran alongside his friend

"Screw that!" the shortest of three Ed's shot back "Besides I don't think he's in the mood for one Sockhead!"

"I'm not in my happy place guys!" Ed mentioned as rip another set of lockers down to try to block Kevin's path

"Just keep running 'till we get to the boiler room and we'll be safe!" Eddy told his friends

"But Eddy, what if they're not there?" the brains of the trio replied "For all we know, they might've skipped school today!"

"Just shut up and run for your life!" the loud-mouth shot back

"Houston we have a taco!" Ed randomly called out to his friends in a panic

The three friends rounded a corner in the hall and then darted down a flight of stairs as fast as their legs could carry them, however Ed slipped halfway down the steps and steamrolled over his two friends, making all three of them roll down the remaining steps until they all jammed headfirst into the door to the boiler room. Once they scrambled back to their feet, the ring leader of the group began to mercilessly pound on the door.

"Open up! Open up! For god's sake up!" he pleaded as continued to bag on the door with his fists "Kevin's gonna kill us!"

"Open says-me!" Ed declared with a dramatic point, which of course did nothing

"Oh it's no use gentlemen, our protectors aren't here!" Edd cried out in terror

"Well ain't that a shame?" a cold voice spoke up "Looks like the dorks are all alone with no one coming to save them"

The three slowly turned around at the sound of the voice and saw to their horror saw Kevin standing before them, cracking his knuckles as he slowly approached them, all the while having a sinister grin on his face. The ED's coward in terror and said their prayer, knowing that the foot-ball star was more than likely going to kill them this time.

"Well it was nice knowing you boys; I'll be ripping off angels in heaven" Eddy told his friends

"Knowing you Eddy, I highly doubt that's where you'd end up after you expired" Double-D commented, still scared about his own demise "But I will miss you fellows as well"

"Game Over Man, Game Over!" Ed exclaimed in terror

"Say goodnight dorks!" Kevin exclaimed as brought a fist hurtling toward Eddy's face

The trio closed their eyes and hesitantly waited their beating, however after a few seconds; not even so much as a flick to the ear happened to them. Obviously confused this, they opened their eyes to see in both their surprise and relief the Kanker sister A.K.A girlfriends/bodyguards standing there with Lee holding Kevin's fist in a vice-grip only inches away from Eddy's face.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here girls?" the eldest of three sister asked her siblings

"It looks like this meanie was about to hurt our Ed's!" May snapped in anger

"L-let me go you crazy bitch!" Kevin stammered out as he struggled to break away from her grip

"Struggling only makes it worse" Lee casually replied before her hold on his fist grew tighter, making the boy scream in agony

A dark smirk spread across Eddy's face as he watched his tormentor at his new lover's mercy. The new found relationship between the Kankers and Ed's had only started just a few weeks ago, but in that that time their statues in the school had drastically changed. Ever since the trio of friends had finally decided to give into their teenage hormones and date the three trailer park guys, the rest of the school gave into their scams out fear of having their legs broken by the girls as well as not even so much as lay a finger on the boys, sadly however Kevin sometimes forgot the new pecking order and that led to situations such as this.

During their time together, the boy's found that their respective loved ones had a lot in common with themselves. Lee was cunning as she was blunt like her shorter boyfriend, they tended to argue more than the other two couples, but that just ended up with them making out and calling it even until the next fight. Double-D and Marie brought the perfect combination of brains and brawn in their relationship, Eddy once joked that it was like reverse beauty and the beast; to which Marie punched him dead in the mouth in response. During his time dating Marie, Edd found himself loosing up more to less time studying and more just hanging with her or his friends and Marie's grads had gone up slightly since her time with Edd who help her study. Then finally there was Ed and May who were the most passive of the group, with May at his side, the horror movie lover could marathon an entire days worth of monster movies with someone he could keep up a conversation about with the movie itself at his speed, rather than have Edd who would look away from the carnage on the screen and say how much he hated it using those big words he hated or Eddy who would complain about the effects the whole time.

"You ok oven-mitt?" Marie asked her lover

"Yes, we are unharmed thanks to your last minute rescue" Double-D answered "Where did you did run off to anyway?"

"We we're in the girl's bathroom, freshening up for you guys" Marie explained to him as she showed him her nails "Like the new shade of black?"

"Simply ravishing my dear" he compliment sweetly, even though he couldn't tell the difference at all

"It was so scary May; Kevin was going to punch us all to the eighty-second dead world of Cyber-Hades!" Ed whined like a frighten child as he jumped into his girlfriend's arms

"Don't worry big Ed, we'll smash him real good" the blonde Kanker soothed

"Is that true shovel-chin, did you try to hurt our men again?" the red-headed Kanker asked was she put a bit more pressure on his hand again "How many times have we told you that your boys are off-limits?"

"Ow! Let go! Let go! You're breaking my hand!" the jock cried out in pain

"No, this is me breaking your hand" Lee coldly corrected before she put the right amount of force to break the boy's hand

Kevin's scream could be heard throughout the entire school, this of course led Double-D to be the voice of reason in the group (again) in order to keep them all out of detention or jail.

"I do believe you've made your point Lee" the cap-wearing boy said "You can let him go now"

"Yeah just let him sis, I've got a movie date with my sweetie-pie tonight so I don't want held up by detention today" Marie added

"Don't listen to them babe, break some more bones!" hey loud-mouthed lover commanded, clearly loving the scene play out before him

"Shut It!" Lee ordered to the group before she turned her attention back to Kevin "And as for you, I'm letting you off easy today shovel-chin, but next you so much as touch our boys, we'll pull you inside out, got it?"

The sports-lover gave the red-head a quick nod before she released her hold on him, letting him run off to the nurse's office as fast as he could.

"Why'd you do that Lee?" Eddy questioned harshly "Now we'll squeal on all of us!"

"If he knows what good for him he won't" Lee answered before her she glared at him "And by the way sweetie, don't ever tell me what do"

"O-of course honey" the boy squeaked out in fear "Y-you're the boss"

"Good boy" she told as she patted her head

"Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah now huh Double-D?" Ed said to his friend as he mocked Eddy, who was still in May's arms

"Eh-yes Ed someone most certainly is" his smarter friend awkwardly answered as the other four members of the group continued to watch their friend try to apologize to the head Kanker


End file.
